OHA GETS PISSED ON BY GOD

OHA was rained out today but, check this out: It's a 10-foot Great White shark that was almost bitten in half by a 20-foot Great White shark... Neat-o.

THE OHA BLOG STRIKES BACK WITH A REVENGE! THE SEQUEL!!! PART 2!!!!

Just in time for the last game of the regular fall season, the OHA blog returns like an estranged step-parent!

OHA heads into game 6 of the Fall season on the heels of a 4 game winning streak. last Wednesday, in a highly contested game 5 OHA fought back from a 6 run deficit to take the win against insert defeated team's name here .

Game hi-lites included back-to-back homeruns from J "Coach" Warner and Roger "Broken Arrow" Scholl, as well as a batting clinic put on by lefty slugger, Casey "One for the Road" Slamin and an OHA defensive lock-down featuring the golden glove of JJ "Raindance" Lask.

Barring a rain-out OHA plays its final game of the regular season tomorrow, Wednesday, October 28th 6:00 PM at 52nd Street and 11th Avenue. And dont forget, its OHA "Beer, Booze and Tots" day at the stadium. Come enjoy the OHA hijinks on and off the field. Wink wink.

LET THE "NO RAIN" DANCE COMMENCE...

NO RAIN!

NO RAIN!

NO RAIN!

NO RAIN!

A message from OHA Head Coach, Jason "It's Just a Flesh Wound" Warner

* comments in red supplied by "OHA management"

Nice win against a completely scrub ass team last night (Like beating a one-armed step child) Next Friday (6/19/09) we play the #1 seeded team and OHA's arch nemesis, Top of The Rock (The crack rock that is! HAHAHAHAHA!) They beat us in the play offs last year and this year in our first game of the season. We owe them (Revenge, thy name is Omar!). You have almost two weeks to clear Friday next afternoon with work (Friday... we are going to get WASTED! OHA!), or just to plan an early escape from the office (Kill your boss. Kill them all. do it!). As much as the team we played last night sucked, (I dont remember their name either) we almost lost because we didn’t have enough heads to take the field until exactly game time (In my defense, i like to show up at the last second - keeps the fans on their toes). It’s a 5:30 game at 110th and Manhattan Avenue - Field #1.
Get there early and get warm (with some of Benny Starkman's delicious, sun-cooked egg nog®!). We need to spank these miserable douches. (Yeeesh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?)

"I'm not an Alcoholic... I'm a POWER-DRINKER!"

OHA boosted their winning streak to 2 in a row this past Tuesday (5/26/09) in a dog-kicker of a win against (Name of losing team here). The sky was dark and a cold drizzle covered the field, but like Conan the Barbarian, OHA would not be denied, taking the win in style (12-8).

The following is an interview with OHA veteran third baseman and legal council, Ira "Ira Smash" Wurcel...

OHANYC: Great game on tuesday

IRA: Word

OHANYC: A 5th inning grand slam put OHA down 7-3. You smashed a 3-run homer to answer and put OHA back on top. How did that feel?

IRA: It did feel good. I dedicate that home run to Dr. Rodney Santiago, who provided me with analysis and recommendations on how my swing was screwed up

OHANYC: Did he tell you to keep your eyes open when you swing?

IRA: it was much deeper than that

OHANYC: What, like a deep-tissue massage? did he make the gay sex on you?

IRA: no

OHANYC: What was rodneys advice?

IRA: I was swinging too early

OHANYC: What did you hit for the game?

IRA: I think 2 for 4, 3 RBI, 1 R

OHANYC: Your awesome. What did u think of that team?

IRA: They were okay. We are better. Team last week was better than them. Team first week was better than them.

OHANYC: I didnt ask you about the other teams.

IRA: What do you think of them?

OHANYC: Its a decending ladder of goodness versus the compatibilty of victory devided by Ben's colon. Who would you say was the MVP of the game? was it Ira Wurcel?

IRA: hmmm... I made an error at third that led to a run...

OHANYC: Self deprecation is the hallmark of great thinkers.

IRA: Was it Ben?

OHANYC: Ben didn't play...

IRA: Casey?

OHANYC: Casey doesn't count. The correct answer is "Marcos is the MVP of the game". Thank you for playing though.

IRA: Drinks later?

OHANYC: I think i'm going to stay home with a bottle of Chardonay and watch "Roadhouse" starring Patrick Swayze.

Check out the Ira Wurcel Collector Card here

OHA 2009 PREVIEW...

Lock up your daughters and hide the livestock - OHA is back! Follow the zany antics of your favorite softball team as they smash, slide and grab their way through another hysterical season of the softball, trying to snatch that golden ring or someshit. Stay tuned...